Scaredy Weasel
by Ghoster.Z
Summary: He was afraid of needles and taking his medecine. She was growing impatient and needed him to just take the damn thing.


**Based off an incident that happened between my older sister and her chicken of a boyfriend. Twas hilarious and I learned that messing with your significant other and their medecine is actually a really bad thing.**

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It was simply unbelievable, it was completely unfathomable. Of all times for her patient to be late, he had to be at _rush hour_. The one time of year when the all nurses and doctors at the hospital were practically swamped with ANBU's and shinobis coming in who needed to get their annual physical and checkups. It was mandatory and had to be down before anyone could go back on the field or take missions. If they didn't their medical files renewed and reported in, they were stuck in Konoha until that happened. Which was why the hospital was in a chaotic mess at the moment.

There were people running all over the place, shouts and orders were being called out at every corner. It was like a human traffic jam right in the middle of the _waiting room_ of all places. Lines were building up fast and soon it got to the point where it spilled outside. There was only so much one person could do at a time and there wasn't a lot. All nurses and doctors were on call 24/7, no breaks, not even for lunch. You ate as you run.

Each individual took at least half hour to a full hour just for one check up, and those can be quiet stressful depending on the patient. Somewhere nice and sincere, having total sympathy for the hard working employees while others were complete douche bags that needed to burn in the fiery pits of hell. Like Sakura's current nuisance, who was now a whopping twenty minutes late.

"Bloody hell!" She burst out of the examination room and stormed into the lobby, where almost all the commotion and bedlam was. Many people who when the pink haired doctor was angry; you stay the fuck away from her.

All moving stopped and every pair of eyes turned in her direction, smoke was practically fuming out of her ears. The scowl on her face made her look more like a dragon rather than the princess.

She held up her thick clipboard and flipped through many pages until she landed on one particular person.

"Where the _hell_ is Uchiha Itachi?"

It was so quiet you could practically hear someone gulping all the way in the back.

"_Well_?"

Finally, after about a few minutes of totally and obnoxious silence, a brown haired nurse timidly rose from her seat at the receptionist desk and spoke.

"W-we saw him h-head down the south wing m-ma'am."

"Why in the world would he go down there? My office is in the _north_ tower!"

"H-he said t-there was something he n-need to do."

"Oh, like ask for a death wish? Because he sure as hell's getting it!"

She pivoted her body in said direction and marched past scrambling nurses and ANBU's who did _not_ want to be within the dragon's biting range. She stopped in the middle of the arch the lead into the hallway and slowly turned around to look at everyone with narrowed eyes.

"Well what are you waiting for? Get back to work!"

Letting out a haggard breath of air, she turned back around and continued in her search for the dead man. He was so going to get it. She walked hastily down the hallway and turned many corners, kicking or punching open doors in hopes of finding her raven irritation. She startled some people of course when the door would suddenly fling open, but couldn't care less and treaded on. No one would dare get in her way until they wanted a foot shoved down their throat. It was one thing to be a few minutes late, it was another to purposely make your doctor wait nearly half an hour and then force them to go looking for you. It hardly mattered to her if this was _the_ Uchiha Itachi, captain of ANBU and top jonin in the village, she was looking for. In _her_ hospital you follow_ her_ rules and you don't piss_ her_ off. This male had some nerve, and balls to attempt such a thing.

"Where the hell is that son of a bitch?" She mumbled.

It wasn't until she tried opening the last door on the left that she realized, with exasperation and victorious grin on her face, where he was hiding. The inventory room was _never_ allowed to be locked, and what does she find here? A locked inventory door. If he honestly thought that a simple lock was going to keep her from dragging his sorry ass out, he better think again.

She gathered enough chakra in her hand to crush a boulder and punch open the door. It went flying to the back of the room and hit the fall with a loud thud before falling to the floor. The light instantly came on and she strode inside, determined to get him back to the examination room.

"Give it up Itachi, I really don't care about much you hate the hospital, but you're going to get your physical one way or the other!"

Her eyes scanned the room, eyeing anything that looked remotely suspicious or out of place. Besides shelves stacked high with medical equipment, she couldn't find the ANBU captain anywhere. And this was a tiny room to begin with.

"Where are you?"

Suddenly, she felt a whoosh of hair and turned to head to see the ponytail of said captain flying out the door and down the hallway.

"Oh no you don't!"

Instantly, she sprinted out the door and down the same direction he went, intent on catching him once and for all. She pushed past people who were a little too late to step aside and shouted apologies over her shoulder. Her eyes locked to the back of Itachi's white armor plate and watched as he jumped over a catering cart and disappeared behind a corner. She wished she could say her agility was just as good as the Uchiha's, but that wasn't the case. Not only did she collide into the catering cart, also slip and fall head first into a banana cream pie.

On top of losing the Uchiha, she was a complete mess. Now she was _livid_.

She walked back to the reception desk, whipping away as much cream from her face as possible, and grabbed the intercom from the secretary's hand.

"Listen up everyone! If Uchiha Itachi isn't in my examining office in the next _two minutes_ I am shutting down this entire hospital, thus preventing any of you sad little ninjas from going out on _any_ missions!"

Before she even finished with her guaranteed threat, every able body was already up and running throughout the entire building. Shouts of 'Uchiha-sama' or 'Captain' were heard echoing down every corridor. By the time Sakura made it back to her office, a minute had passed by and she sat down on top of the medical bed and folded her arms. Outside the door, she saw many people rushing past each other, colliding and getting back up with more determination than ever.

"4…3…2…"

The door burst open and in came several ANBU's carrying a tightly wrapped Itachi into the room. He growled at the men and women and struggled to break loose but that only made them pull the rope even tighter. Sakura smiled and thanked each and everyone before dismissing them from the room. The minute they left, she lowered her smile and turned to a rather calm looking Itachi and hardened her eyes at him. She pointed a well manicured finger at him, seething with rage.

"What the hell is your problem?! Are you _trying_ to make me kill you? This is a very busy week for me and I don't have time to mess around _Uchiha_! I have other clients waiting for me and you're wasting everyone's time!"

"Then why didn't you just do their checkups first?"

"Because each station is different, I had this one specifically set up for you, idiot! To unless you want to stall for any more time, I'm going to start the examination whether you want me to or not!"

She moved over to him and grabbed onto the color of his shirt, glaring at him right at him.

"I believe you'll have to release me from my bonds in order for you to start."

"I know that god damn it! But if you so much as even _think_ about running away, I'll shove a morphine pill down your throat so fast; you'll be knocked before you even know it."

He smirked, earning him a growl from the petite woman, "Is that a threat?"

"It's a guarantee. Now hold still."

A few minutes later, she successfully untied him and proceeded with the physical. They started out with the same old routine, taking his measurements, checking his eyes, hearing, and reflexes. Then they moved on to the more personal check ups. She instructed to lay down on his back while she checked all his pressure points with chakra infused fingers and told him to tell her if he felt anything.

"You're touching me aren't you?"

"Bite me Uchiha."

"Where?"

She nearly dropped her stethoscope at his little innuendo. Her face blush a shade ten times deeper than her hair and turned her face away as to avoid his most likely smirking face. He always did this to her, he turned every harmless thing she said into some flirtatious come on and then put a damper on her professional mood. It was impossible to work with this man without wanting to beat him into a blood pulp. He was notorious for being the class flirt, especially with her. But unlike the other dunderheaded woman who accepted this gestures with batting eyes; she hated them and easily rejected him. Actually, she was probably the only woman in the entire village who didn't really give a damn about him, other than being his doctor.

But that didn't stop him from trying. In fact, he took this as an open challenge and welcomed it with enthusiastic arms. He always said he was going to make her his one day, but according to Sakura, that day was _never_ going to come. Period.

Her hands moved over to his left thigh and she placed her fingers precisely where some of the sensitive pressure points were.

"I'm going to press hard; you might feel a little sting."

She pressed down on his skin and watched as his leg glowed a little underneath his black pants. It lasted for only a second, but it told Sakura enough. He was in healthy shape and extremely fit. He was beyond perfect, and that was pissed her off. She hated knowing that his body made her hot to the core, and despised the way his 20/20 vision eyes didn't miss the way her eyes roamed all over him. He had a well endowed body, chiseled muscles adorning his glossy chest, tantalizing skin she just wanted to-

"Like what you see?"

It took her a minute to realize she had been staring and her hand had moved dangerously close to his no-no zone. She quickly removed her hand and went as far away from him as possible, writing furiously into her clipboard. She heard him chuckle and wanted to wring the man's neck.

"There's white stuff in your hair."

Her eyes looked over at the mirror to her side and she noticed it too, "That's just the cream, it'll come off once I take a shower."

"Cream?"

"I fell into a banana pie." She mumbled.

He stifled his laughter, knowing very well it would end his life if she heard him. She sucked in a huge amount of air and let it all out before repeating the process several more times. Finally mustering up all her courage and dignity, she turned around and faced him. He'd been staring at her the entire time and didn't even bother hiding the fact. Not to mention he was still smirking at her. Her knees felt weak, but she kept her cool and walked over towards him. She took out a pair of gloves, cotton balls, and alcohol and set them next to his bed.

"What's next _doctor_?"

This time, it was her turn to smirk. And suddenly, he didn't feel so hot anymore.

"Only two things; your shots and medicine."

She giggled inwardly as his pace suddenly dropped and all the color flooded away. He turned as white as snow at the mention of shots.

"What's the matter _Itachi_, scared?"

He quickly regained his composure and cleared his throat, "Don't be absurd, I'm an ANBU captain. I get injured by shurikens and kunais all the time, why would some simple little needle scare me?"

"Alright, then it shouldn't be a problem if I give you four right?"

His eyes suddenly sunk into the back of his head and he instantly shot up in bed, grabbing onto her arms, "Four?"

"Yes four, they're mandatory."

"I don't see how four shots are mandatory."

"Two are for infections, one is for the flu, and the other is for immune system stimulation."

It wasn't until Sakura noticed how particularly close he was to her that she saw the slight twinge of fear in his eyes. She smiled, holding back her laughter. This was just too good, Uchiha Itachi, feared ANBU captain of the leaf village and most prestige jonin to have been born in their lifetime was afraid of some little needle going through his arm. Honestly, he was acting more like a child than a twenty six year old. He noticed her smile and quirked a fine eyebrow.

"What is so amusing?"

"Is that why you were late? Were you hiding from me because you knew you had to take shots?"

"No."

"Then why did you run from me?"

"I have my reasons."

"Sure, and the cow jumped over the moon. Get real Itachi, I know you better than you think. It's okay to be afraid; even other grown men are too."

If there was any possible way to get her closer to him, he found it. Because now he was practically hovering over her. She suddenly realized who she was dealing with and felt a twinge of anxiety. He noticed the apprehensive look in her eye and smirked rather wickedly, earning him a shiver, and she relished in it. She tried to wiggle out of his grip, but his grip only tightened.

"What's the matter _Sakura_, scared?"

Indeed she was, his lips were dangerously close to hers and she could feel his warm breath tickling her skin. She brought her hand up to try pushing him away, but that was futile. He was a very powerful man, and domineering too, he wasn't going to let some arrogant pink haired doctor fool around with him and get away with it.

"I-Itachi, please let me go…" It was a weak plea and she felt stupid for letting him see her this way.

"Why?"

"I still need to give you your shots, otherwise you can't leave."

"What makes you think I want to?"

Her tongue flicked out to lick her dry lips and didn't miss the way he hungrily stared at it, probably imagining himself sucking it. It was a good thing she couldn't read his mind, or else they'd be having some real problems. He just wanted to ravage her mouth already and pin her down against this hospital bed. But he knew better than to anger the temperamental kunoichi and calmed himself down. His hold on her loosened and she backed away until her back hit the window. She tried to calm down her breathing and steady her racing heart. Next time, she'll have some of her bulky male nurses' take care of him. She _really_ could not handle him.

With a shaky hand, she reached into her coat pocket and took out a set of four needles, all with different colors indicating which purpose they were for. She cautiously took a seat next to him, keeping a wary eye out. She held out her hand and he gave her his arm. Soaking the cotton ball in alcohol, she dabbed the area right above his elbow and wiped it clean, then took out a blue needle. Her eyes peeked through her tussled bangs to meet his and surprisingly saw them closed. It also looked like he was holding his breath.

She pushed the needle in and the contents within it. Next was the yellow, green, and red. By then, he had gone paler than a ghost and breathing through gritted teeth.

"Would you like a lollipop for being such a good boy?" She teased him.

He peeked open and eye and scowling at her grinning face. He scoffed her and leaned back against the bed, not even bothering to move his bandaged arm. She placed it right next to his body and got up to get the two glass bottles sitting on the counter. There was a purple liquid labeled 'Vitamin supplement' and a red liquid labeled 'Organ stimulant regeneration.' They looked positively putrid and there was no way in hell he was drinking those.

"Oh yes you are," It was like she read his mind, but really, she took one look at his scrunched up face and knew what he was thinking, "This is the last thing you have to do Itachi, don't make this any harder than it already is. Just drink the medicine and we can get on with our lives."

"They look poisoned."

"We are in a hospital! They are not poisoned!"

"How can you be sure?"

It took her all the control she had not to throw the stupid bottle at his head.

"Because I poured them in myself, now quit acting like a child and drink up!" She was already at his side before he even knew it and attempted to pour the fluids down his throat.

But being the more powerful one here, he grabbed her wrists and brought them down to his sides. She clenched her jaw and pried herself lose from his hands and set the glass bottles down. Obviously, this was going to be tougher than she thought. Who knew the man before her was afraid of needles _and_ taking medicine. She worked with four year old children who weren't as difficult as him. If there was one think Haruno Sakura was good, it was determination and her strength to never give up.

Forcing it down wasn't going to work, neither was negotiating with him. He was just as stubborn as she was, probably even more. He made it pretty clear he didn't want to drink the liquids, and she was happy to agree and get him out her hair. But she always put duty before her own needs and bit her tongue. That was how she ended up here, glaring down at the adult child who was more than ever crawling under her skin.

She backed away and closed her eyes, thinking up another way to get him to drink his medicine.

Suddenly, in that second, a wonderful and devious plan popped in her head.

He always said he fancied her and what better way to get him under her command than a little tease and torture. She learned firsthand how seduction could easily get her anything she wanted with just a flutter of her eyelids. A sly smirk crossed her lips and her eyes darkened almost into a smoky green. Itachi immediately took noticed and straightened his back, ready for whatever she had up her sneaky sleeves. He was expecting her to probably knock him out cold or drug him into drinking those disgusting looking drinks and he was ready for her first shot.

"I know what you're thinking Haruno."

"Oh really?"

Suddenly she was on top of him and straddling his lap, her intimate parts, whether unintentional or not, was rubbing rather softly against his very own. He was _not_ expecting this. A very, very warm feeling started gathering around a certain area and Sakura started to casually rub her hand up and down his naked chest. She smiled coyly at him, like a cat in heat, and didn't even shift her eyes when he narrowed his at her.

"What are you doing _Haruno_?"

"I thought you knew what I was thinking, _Itachi-kun_."

He would have leapt for joy at his wildest dreams come true, but at the moment, they were still in a hospital, and his checkup was yet to be over.

"I thought you wanted this."

"…"

"Don't you want me?"

Yes he did, very much indeed he did. She looked positively innocent and absolutely god-like sitting on top of him. She had no idea what reactions she was eliciting from him, how badly he just wanted to take her right then and there. Her body shift and now she was resting on her elbows, sitting on each side of his head, and gazing down at him with the most lust filled look he had ever seen. He was pretty sure she could feel the pitch end gathering up between her legs. He needed to have her know before he exploded from just the thought.

"You want to know why I'm always in top?"

He nodded like was receiving candy from his mommy.

Without him noticing, she slowly grabbed the red liquid and brought it over until it was right above his head. He didn't even bother taking his eyes away from her. She leaned down and nipped his ear, and breathed heavily. Letting him now, this was just as much a turn on for her.

"Because I never _fuck_ up."

Suddenly, she took once mouthful of the liquid and crushed her lips on his, parting his mouth with her tongue and pushed the medicine into his mouth. His hand instantly latched into her thigh as his other one squeezed her butt affectionately, earning him a squeal. Her lips were still on his, moving with his as he gulped down the bitter tasting drink and pulling back for air. He'd never tasted something so sweet and repulsive at the same time before. He opened his eyes to see her still hovering over him and slightly panting, either from the kiss or the fact that she shoved the medicine into his mouth. Whichever one, he didn't care; the only thing on his mind at the moment was perfect her lips were. They fit nicely against him, and he didn't hesitate to claim them again.

He pulled her down and crushed his lips against hers, coaxing his bittersweet tongue with her equally bittersweet one. He bit down and started sucking on it like he always wanted to and groaned at the flavor. It was so delicious and vile all at once. While one of his hands latched into a good chunk of her hair, his other one was rubbing up and down her milk thigh and digging his nails into her delicate skin. She moaned out his name and it was probably one of the most beautiful things he had ever heard, he wanted to hear more, hear her scream his name.

"Itachi…the medicine."

God, here he was making out and fondling her body and she brings up that sickening excuse for medicine.

"Please…"

He liked the sound of that.

"…just take it."

He growled into her mouth and broke the kiss. She was panting into his chest, her skilled medic hands sliding over his pectorals.

"Fine."

Itachi grabbed the last cup, the purple water sloshing around inside it, making him visibly gag at the sight. He handed the cup over to her and she gave him a questioning look.

He smirked, "Only if _you_ give it to me."

She rolled her eyes and snatched the cup from his hand, "You are such a baby."

He chuckled and squeezed her butt, "Whatever you say doctor."

**XXX**

"Here is Uchiha Itachi's medical report, you can send that over to the Hokage along with the others."

Sakura handed the beige filer over to the messenger and signed off some reports. It wasn't long before she felt the young chuunin's eyes on her that she realized he was staring. She lifted her head and caught his hazel eyes looking at her curiously.

"What?"

"Are you okay doctor?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well it looks like you were attacked by an animal."

She looked down at her attire and realized she was a tad bit messy. Her doctor's coat was unbuttoned to the point where the top of her breasts were slightly exposed under her ripped t-shirt. Her hair was in disarray and many, many little red love bites adorned her neck, arms, and legs. She smiled sheepishly to the young boy and shrugged.

"Well I _had_ to find a way to give him his medicine."

His face instantly turned red and he quickly spun around and made a mad dash for the Hokage Tower.

She let out a sigh of relief and returned to her office, slowly taking a seat in her overly cushioned chair. Her legs were still hurting and the last thing she needed was to start running all over again. Just as she closed her eyes and rested her head back against the pillow like cushion, her phone rang. Growling, she snapped open her eyes and picked it up.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Um, Doctor, you have a patient requesting a house call."

Her eyebrow quirked, "Who?"

"Ah…an Uchiha Itachi."

If the secretary hadn't known this was Sakura she was talking to, she might have mistaken the fierce growl for a dragon.

"What the hell does he want?"

"He says, he wasn't quite sure that you were doing the physical properly. W-whatever that means."

There was silence for a few minutes.

"D-doctor?"

"Tell that son of a bitch to bite me!"

"Um…he said you might say that, and to ask you…where?"

Suddenly, the phone went dead and she threw it out her window.

"Next time, he can be on top! Stupid needle fearing baby."

She looked over at the when she noticed his ANBU mask was still there and a note on top. She walked over to the object and picked up the note, reading it out loud;

_Please do not use medicine this time. Oh, and wash your hair, it smells like bananas._

"Baby."

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**

Yeah, there. My crack baby and I hope you all enjoyed it. Just a spur of the moment thing.

**R & R !**


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